Why we are making a difference for Mel . . .
2015 June 28
Created by Ian & Julie 8 years agoIn August 2007, the day after her twentieth birthday, our daughter Melissa was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. Melissa underwent various chemotherapies prior to having a stem cell transplant in February 2008.
On 1st April that same year we were told that Melissa's condition was incurable and she had only weeks, possibly months to live. She passed away in the early hours of Sunday 11th May 2008. We all have different ways of dealing with the loss of a loved one. There is no wrong way. Sometimes you want to talk, other times you want to be silent. You get through the days and nights in the best way that you can. You visit past times, some you wish you could live all over again, others you want to obliterate from your mind forever.
You're constantly reminded about how life has changed and how good it used to be... and how little you appreciated it and took it for granted. I have dreams I never want to wake up from and nightmares that shake me and I wake in tears.Melissa's care was excellent and part of the volunteer work I now do is to talk to medical professionals about how good end of life care can be and how it is often the smallest of gestures that make the biggest difference. I have spoken at National Conferences on bereavement about our ongoing grief journey.
I want to make a difference for Mel and in the time since she passed away we've certainly done that.In 2012 I was given the honour of carrying the Olympic Torch in my hometown of Burton on Trent and I now visit schools, Rotary and other clubs to inspire others through our story. As a parent you think you can fix everything for your children, You're their superhero. There isn't anything in life that can prepare you for the loss of a child.
No parenting manual, no courses to attend, you rely on love and pure instinct. We were with Melissa when she breathed her first breathe and we sat holding her hand as she breathed her last. Melissa loved life. She had so much and lymphoma took that away from her. It beat her physically, but mentally she thrashed it. It was never in the game. It was her attitude to life and Lymphoma that give us the strength to carry on and do all we can to make a difference for Mel.
On 1st April that same year we were told that Melissa's condition was incurable and she had only weeks, possibly months to live. She passed away in the early hours of Sunday 11th May 2008. We all have different ways of dealing with the loss of a loved one. There is no wrong way. Sometimes you want to talk, other times you want to be silent. You get through the days and nights in the best way that you can. You visit past times, some you wish you could live all over again, others you want to obliterate from your mind forever.
You're constantly reminded about how life has changed and how good it used to be... and how little you appreciated it and took it for granted. I have dreams I never want to wake up from and nightmares that shake me and I wake in tears.Melissa's care was excellent and part of the volunteer work I now do is to talk to medical professionals about how good end of life care can be and how it is often the smallest of gestures that make the biggest difference. I have spoken at National Conferences on bereavement about our ongoing grief journey.
I want to make a difference for Mel and in the time since she passed away we've certainly done that.In 2012 I was given the honour of carrying the Olympic Torch in my hometown of Burton on Trent and I now visit schools, Rotary and other clubs to inspire others through our story. As a parent you think you can fix everything for your children, You're their superhero. There isn't anything in life that can prepare you for the loss of a child.
No parenting manual, no courses to attend, you rely on love and pure instinct. We were with Melissa when she breathed her first breathe and we sat holding her hand as she breathed her last. Melissa loved life. She had so much and lymphoma took that away from her. It beat her physically, but mentally she thrashed it. It was never in the game. It was her attitude to life and Lymphoma that give us the strength to carry on and do all we can to make a difference for Mel.
Pictures
On the beach at Hunstanton . . .